First Round of Chemo

Well, we did indeed begin chemotherapy as the title states.  Wednesday, June 10th was the day Scott received his treatment.  It was a hard decision for us to make.  We cringe at the type of drug that this is, but yet we know that if we choose only alternative treatments, an even longer road stretches out before us.  So, we decided to combine both.  He will receive four rounds of chemo while at the same time we are continuing with the juicing and natural supplements.

The questions of "why" still arise from time to time... especially this past week as I watch Scott muster all his strength to get to work while in the throes of nausea, mouth sores, muscle weakness, etc.  At the same time, I have my moments of weariness as I care for him and the kids alone.

As Scott was receiving his treatment on Wednesday, I was reading in 1 Peter, where it talks about suffering.  It was a good reminder that during our suffering, our faith is refined... faith that is "more precious than gold".  In chapter four, it states that we suffer for a little while and then we are "done with sin" and ready to do the will of the Lord.  

When I read that I took it to mean that suffering produces a different attitude within us.  I think we still sin, but when we have come through our time of suffering, those things that seemed so paramount are now trivial.  Then I looked at what those things actually were and realized that many of them had sin issues attached to them... pride, wrong priorities, wrong attitudes, etc.  I think that our suffering changes what we deem as important in life... and if our suffering has been "fruitful" and we have allowed the Lord to work in us during that time, then we are willing to live solely for God and to do his will.

So, that is one of my prayers this week... not to waste this time of suffering!  I'm also praying that the Lord will heal Scott and give him strength daily.

I thought of an older song this evening as I was feeling weary with the weight of taking care of the kids alone without Scott's help (it's all he can manage to go to work, and he shouldn't have to try and instruct/discipline/feed/clothe/etc. the kids).  Some of it goes like this:

I can do all things

Through Christ who gives me strength

But sometimes I wonder what He can do through me

No great success to show

No glory on my own

Yet in my weakness He is there to let me know

His strength is perfect 

When our strength is gone

He'll carry us when we can't carry on

Raised in his power 

The weak become strong

His strength is perfect, his strength is perfect  

We can only know

The power that He holds

When we truly see how deep our weakness goes

His strength in us begins

When ours comes to an end

He hears our humble cry and proves again

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone

He'll carry us when we can't carry on

Raised in His power, the weak become strong

His strength is perfect, his strength is perfect

So, that one was for you Almeda :)!  I listened to it on youtube and it brought back good memories... through the tears!  By the way, I miss you sister!  Anyway, I'm clinging to the fact that God is good, He has a plan for us in this, and that as my strength quickly wanes, He will fill me with His strength!