ER Trip

As I write this, Scott is sitting in the ER at University of Colorado Hospital.  We had decided that for his safety he should go and stay with couple in our church, to avoid our germ-infested house.  Well, just tonight he called me and was complaining of chills.  He said he was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweatshirt.  Just hearing that made me sweat.  He said his temp was 100.3

A few minutes later he called the oncologist and relayed what was happening to him.  After that he called me back, told me his temp was now 101.4, and said he was headed to the ER.

Because his immunity is so low, the oncologist is concerned.  He is definitely in a "danger zone" so to speak.  He did receive an injection of a drug (Neulasta) in order to stimulate white cell production.  The problem is that he might not have enough white cells to mount a defense if he is indeed experiencing an infection.  That is very dangerous.  

So, they will most likely draw blood, check his WBC (white cells), culture the blood to check for infection, and determine if he is indeed producing any more WBC's.  I don't know what the plan of treatment will be yet.  I can't be there with him due to all the sick and recovering kids I have around here.  I'm sure I'm crawling with bugs!

Anyway, that's all I know at the moment.  The only thing I can do for him is pray.  Why is it when that's all we can do is when we feel the most helpless; the most useless?  Is it because I measure everything in terms of what "I" can do, and not in what "God" can do?  Isn't this where God wants us... when we can't "do" anything, and we leave it in his hands?

I think this is my struggle... to accomplish it on my own, to find strength in and of myself, to be self-sufficient and therefore self-reliant.  Is this what it takes for me to learn?  I'm sorry, Lord for the sin of my heart; the pride of myself.  Please forgive me and send healing to my husband.

If you read this, please pray that Scott will be healed and that he will be spared another hospital stay.  Also, pray for me as I stay here alone with the kids this weekend.