Last Round of Chemo!

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009 was officially the last day of chemotherapy!  I was probably more excited than Scott... he knew the nausea was yet to come.  In fact, he began to get nauseous that morning.  The nurse explained that it was "anticipatory nausea" and she gave him half of an Ativan to calm his nerves.

The treatment went as smoothly as the others.  He is now in the throes of nausea, with bone pain to come in a few days.  This is due to the Neulasta shot that he must take 24-48 hours after the chemo.  He is a determined person.  He managed to go to work the past two days, even after chemo.  His dad flew in Wednesday night and went to work with him.  We are so thankful that he is here!  Leonard/Grandpa already has a whole weekend of work planned out!

So, nothing really different from the last treatment.  We're praising the Lord that he didn't need a hospital stay this time, and we're praying that the same thing will happen for this last treatment.  

On a different note, my heart is aching and burdened for my son, Hunter.  I've seen him change during this whole process.  I've seen him become more quiet and withdrawn.  Lately I've seen him pull away from Scott... it especially happened when Scott's brother was here.  Hunter didn't look at Scott, didn't hug or touch Scott, rarely talked to him, etc.  

These past few days I've noticed some issues that are stemming from whatever is growing in his heart.  My friend was telling me that it looks like fear that has given way to anger and bitterness... and I think her assessment was accurate.  I know that Scott is the one who needs to deal with Hunter.... dad to son... but I'm worried and at times I feel as though we are going to lose our son.

Hunter is at such a crucial age; an age when he needs his dad... but his dad is lying in bed, frail and sick.  Hunter has just seen what cancer has done to his grandma, and he might be thinking that it will take his dad as well.  Actually there's been some interesting comments from the kids during this past week.

Forrest says, "If Dad dies, are you going to get remarried?"

Hunter adamantly says, "Dad's NOT going to die!"

Canyon, rather flippantly, remarks, "Dad didn't die yet."

What do I do with statements like that?  I think it has given me some insight into what the kids are thinking.  I can understand the little guys and why they say some of those things... but it is Hunter that my heart hurts over.  I am mourning for his childhood that has been blemished by this fear-stain of cancer.  I don't know how to help him, yet I realize that the help needs to come from his Heavenly Father and his Earthly Father.

My prayer is that this trial will be what helps him become a godly man, not a cynical or bitter man.  I am afraid, and I'm finding it difficult to give him over to the Lord, and wait for his time.  If the Spirit stirs you, could you please pray for Hunter, and pray that the Lord will give Scott the physical strength to discuss these matters with Hunter?  We are both broken about this and we want to see Hunter grow into all that the Lord has for him.  

Thanks so much for all your prayers, notes, letters, etc.  We are so grateful for all of you!  Now, the plan for next week is for Scott to have a scan on Friday (our anniversary).  After that radiation will begin, we're just not sure what day.  I will write and let everyone know how he is doing and when we are starting treatment.  Thanks again for all your prayers!  We love you all!